Oh, when I die :: BB Messenger Jokes

Oh, when I die :: BB Messenger Jokes Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal, and said to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do Father.” The priest said, “Then leave this pub right now!” and approached a second man. “Do you want to … Continue reading

I don’t know, it wasn’t there yesterday :: Morning Jokes

I don’t know, it wasn’t there yesterday :: Morning Jokes A very loud Texan Engineer was visiting Australia, and talking big about all of the large civil works in the USA that he was involved in. To be polite his Australian counterpart took him on a tour of some of Sydney’s larger constructions. First he … Continue reading

We’ll take her home and eat you mother! :: Morning Jokes

We’ll take her home and eat you mother! :: Morning Jokes A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she’s too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny … Continue reading

I do not know exactly :: Monday Night Jokes

I do not know exactly :: Monday Night Jokes His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation. Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?” “A box of Tampax,” he replied without hesitation. “Tampax?” said the doctor. “What … Continue reading

Could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? :: Q n A Jokes

Could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? :: Q n A Jokes An attorney, anxious to impress the judge with the detail, asked the following line of questions of a doctor who had recently performed an autopsy. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did … Continue reading

You want two bloods and a blood light? :: Humor On Facebook

You want two bloods and a blood light? :: Humor On Facebook Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.” The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks … Continue reading

I said, I never felt better in my life :: Jokes for Tuesday

I said, I never felt better in my life :: Jokes for Tuesday   There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, “How can … Continue reading

Babbette, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket :: Humor Singkat Jokes

Babbette, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket   An Antartian named Babbette finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she’s in serious financial trouble. She’s so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray… “God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if … Continue reading

Three very tough mice

Three very tough mice Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness. The first says, “I’m so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!” The second says, “Well I’m so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!” Then the … Continue reading

What was the problem before?

What was the problem before? Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?” “The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the Flight Attendant, … Continue reading

Steven Wright on dogs

Steven Wright on dogs The other day, I was walking my dog around my building…on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he’s gone. I put contact lenses in my dog’s eyes. They had little … Continue reading

A good chess player

A good chess player A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve … Continue reading

Question and answer animal jokes

Question and answer animal jokes Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To show the armadillo that it was possible. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from Colonel Sanders! Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice? A: Because it was a double-crosser. Q: Why did … Continue reading

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some … Continue reading

Results of damage testing

Results of damage testing It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane’s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies. The theory is that if the windshield doesn’t crack from … Continue reading

Trouble sleeping

Trouble sleeping The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. “What seems to be the problem?” the doctor asked. “Well, I, uh,” she stammered. “I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac.” “I see,” he said. “I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour.” “That’s not bad,” … Continue reading